I have been so busy, and also so non-commital it's insane. Work is really kicking my ass. I'm training someone new, again. It was great to hear that they have such trust in me, but it's really draining to teach someone everything they need to know. Thankfully she has managerial food service experience and six weeks to train.
We saw Disturbed and it was a blast. Two of the three opening acts sucked ass, but All That Remains was excellent, and Disturbed definately made up for it.
I have a plethora of activities we're going to. We're splurging with Hubs' credit since we've put the house off for six months. It's a good/bad sitch and we're well aware of it, but meh. DH got a security camera system and an external hard drive bay (and a hard drive) to store all of our pictures and music/movies etc. I got a new computer monitor. We're going to Medieval Times next Saturday, I'm going with the girls to see Theory of a Deadman on Monday, Riverdance with Tine on Tuesday, we're all going to see BLS again in July, and I'm going to see TOOL in August!! I'm damn stoked!! We're both booked off for a week at the end of July and we're supposed to go spend some time with MIL and FIL in their new house in Grand Bend. We got a new digital camera so that the pictures we take actually look good heh. Beach pictures this year, huzzah!
I'm losing the battle with depression. I can't really express it well, the words don't want to work with me. I constantly feel like I'm in a fog. My memory is seriously lacking, especially short-term memory. Like scary-bad. I'm constantly sore and omigawd so tired. The house is a complete disaster and I just don't fucking care. It's awful. I don't know how to fix it and have absolutely no desire, motivation or intention of seeing someone because I know for a fact I would just avoid going to the appointments. It's all I can do to get myself ready to go to work when I need to. I mentioned my self-diagnosis of bi-polar to Hubs and he laughed at me. So at least I know where he stands on supporting me (not). I'm doin' this thang all on my own. Yay me.
I go through intense periods of loving my life and everyone in it, to be utterly disappointed with my life and everyone in it. There's no happy medium. It sucks, I hate it, and I can't seem to get myself past it. I doubt I ever will.
I'm so sad for Dooger, so that's probably not helping. I haven't heard a damn thing about his referral for Autism/Asperger's testing. He seems to have regressed with his language and is now reverting back to saying 'v's instead of 'w's and 'th' for 'f'. Again. He was doing that when he was THREE. Of course, it's the end of the school year and his speech pathologist is 'done' with him for this year. The school says he's progressing enough to pass into Grade 2 (of course they would, no child left behind and all that bs). Nevermind the fact that he still cries at the drop of a hat, has no real 'friends' outside of school that he socializes with (or WANTS to socialize with), can't carry on a normal day-to-day conversation and has trouble completing tasks. Bah. I love him to death, but he makes me want to smash my head against a wall sometimes.
I spent a couple of weeks going back to bed after sending the kids off to school. After a while I realized that I was getting more sleep, but feeling like absolute crud. My biggest personal hurdle is now to keep myself awake and out of bed when we all get up in the morning. I get more tired by the end of the day, but feel better overall. Today I even shaved my legs and am wearing shorts for the first time this year! Huzzah!! I'm grabbing the kids from school and we're all heading out to meet Hubs at the mall.
Great news with Ava as well, she had her vet checkup and received a clean bill of health. She needs a dental cleaning but no extractions, is 62.5lbs (her racing weight was 61lbs so this is amazing!), cleared her heartworm check and I have to find Rescue Remedy to use for her thunderstorm anxiety. Which, incidentally enough, isn't as bad as last year. She hides in the bathroom for the most part. If she starts 'freaking out' in one of the kids' room, she is at least still responding to being called out and told to lay down. She will come to bed with us, even if the storm is still occuring, and will lay on her bed and pant. It's still a strong anxiety that I'd love to help her with, but it's a gazillion times better than last year where we HAD to crate her to keep her from injuring herself and she'd spend the night standing in her crate panting. Progress is progress. Now if only we could keep her from eating crap she finds around the house. Sigh.
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